In China, who pays for dating expenses?

Alex Lew, CFA
3 min readMar 30, 2023

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Introduction

Entering college brings many opportunities for learning, personal growth, and social interaction. It also opens the door to the possibility of romantic relationships. College couples often enjoy spending time together, going on dates, and celebrating special occasions. However, dating comes with a cost, and for students with no income, this can be a significant financial burden. In many cases, one partner may end up paying more than the other, leading to questions about the fairness of this arrangement. This article will examine whether it is reasonable for male students to bear the bulk of dating expenses and whether it is necessary to adopt an equal split (AA) approach to paying for dating expenses.

Part 1: Who Pays for Dating Expenses?

According to a survey conducted by China Youth Daily, over 80% of college students’ dating expenses are paid by their parents, with just over 40% of couples’ expenses being covered by male partners. Some argue that this is due to societal expectations that men should show their masculinity and financial prowess by paying for dates. Others contend that some women feel entitled to have their male partners pay for their expenses, claiming that if they can support themselves, there is no need to have a boyfriend.

It is essential to note that dating expenses can add up over time and may become a significant burden for male students who are expected to pay for most of the expenses. This can lead to financial stress and even affect the relationship’s dynamic as the partner paying for everything may feel resentful or unappreciated. In contrast, the other partner may feel guilty or inadequate for not being able to contribute financially.

Part 2: The Pros and Cons of AA System for Dating Expenses

The AA (equal split) system has become increasingly popular in recent years as it ensures that both partners are equally responsible for covering the costs of their dates. This approach can be a way to eliminate financial stress and provide a sense of fairness in the relationship. It also promotes financial responsibility, as both partners are held accountable for their expenses.

However, some argue that the AA system may not always be practical, especially if one partner earns significantly less than the other. For instance, if one partner has a part-time job, while the other has a full-time job, it may be difficult to split expenses equally. Additionally, the AA system may not account for the variations in costs of different activities. For example, a night out at a fancy restaurant may cost significantly more than a movie date, but the AA system would require both partners to pay the same amount.

Part 3: Finding a Middle Ground

It is crucial to find a middle ground that works for both partners when it comes to paying for dating expenses. This could involve setting a budget for dates or alternating who pays for each date. It is also essential to have open communication and discuss each other’s expectations and financial capabilities.

Additionally, it is important to recognize that money should not be the sole factor in determining the quality of a relationship. While dating expenses can add up, they should not be the only measure of love and commitment. Partners should focus on building a healthy and meaningful relationship that goes beyond materialistic things.

Part 4: Supporting Arguments

The Benefits and Drawbacks of AA System for Dating Expenses https://www.deccanherald.com/specials/insight/pros-and-cons-of-the-equal-split-system-for-dating-expenses-935776.html

This article discusses the advantages and disadvantages of the AA system for dating expenses. It highlights the benefits of fairness and financial responsibility and the drawbacks of the system’s potential impracticality and cost variations.

Why Couples Should Split the Bill on Dates https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a25913803/couples-split-the-bill-on-dates/

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Alex Lew, CFA
Alex Lew, CFA

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